From Her.ie
If you say that every sexual encounter you’ve ever had has gone swimmingly and you have never been left staring at the ceiling in frustration, then you are lying. Because everyone has had at least one embarrassing moment in the bedroom that has instantly killed the mood. Here are 11 things that are guaranteed to ruin that special moment…
1. A telephone call from your mum/dad/brother/sister/any relative
A telephone call you could probably get over (with a great deal of persuasion), but when it’s a relative there’s really no going back. The lesson here is to turn your phone off or put it on silent… and not silent with vibrate, you can still hear that.
2. The cold
Both the ‘I need to stick two tissues up my nose’ and the ‘oh my god my boobs are going to fall off because it’s freezing’ colds are instant mood killers. Lemsip before love! Heat before happiness! (Just go with it.)
3. Sleep
It might be hard to believe but falling asleep during sexy time does happen and it leads to all sorts questions such as ‘did that just happen?’ and ‘was it that boring?’
4. The sound of someone else having sex
Not only are you distracted by their loud love-making but all of a sudden you find yourself trying to compete. Disaster.
5. Injury
There’s nothing like falling off the bed or being elbowed in the balls (we can only assume that pain obviously) to make you put your clothes back on and leave the room immediately.
6. Awkward dirty talk
The less said about this (and in the bedroom) the better… unless of course you have a way with words in which case work away to your heart’s content.
7. Cheesy music
Out of all the songs on your iPod to come on, it had to be Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, didn’t it? Thanks Rick, thanks a lot.
8. Too many questions
Sure it’s nice to be asked if that feels good and if that’s okay but seriously this is sex, not an interrogation.
9. Inconvenient clothing
Your body-con dress might have been amazing when you were on the dance floor but it’s a pain to get out of. And that bra with three clasps? Good luck.
10. Your bladder
You can try to ignore it but now it’s all you can think about. Unfortunately, the good time you could have been having will be all you can think about while you pee.
11. Farting/burping/other embarrassing bodily functions
Not cool.
Add comment
Comments