Caitlin Sullivan Photography
A newlywed bride recently took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for retaking her bridesmaid photos without one of her friends, claiming the friend "was throwing off the vibe" of the pictures.
Posting in Reddit's popular "Am I the A------" forum, the bride shared details of her wedding, which took place two weeks prior and included six bridesmaids. One of the bridesmaids, referred to as "N," was described as being "very tall with a muscular build."
"She also wore a patterned dress, despite my request that everyone wear solid colors. I allowed them to choose their own style, as long as they stuck to the color I selected," the bride explained. "But between her dress and her build, N really stood out, and it was disrupting the cohesive look I was hoping for in the photos."
The bride mentioned that she wasn’t the only one who noticed. After reviewing the first round of photos with the photographer, it became clear the group shared the same unspoken thought—although no one wanted to address it for fear of hurting N’s feelings.
To her surprise, N herself acknowledged the issue. "She turned to me and said, ‘I understand if you want to take some without me.’ She didn’t seem upset and even laughed a little," the bride recounted. "So, I agreed, and we retook the photos without her."
After the wedding, the bride didn’t give it much thought until she received the final photos. When she posted her favorite pictures on Facebook, she chose not to include any images featuring N. "I only posted around 30 of the absolute best photos," the bride explained.
However, N later contacted the bride, expressing her feelings of hurt from being excluded—not only in the retaken photos but also from the bride's social media post.
The bride apologized and reminded N that it was her suggestion to step out of the photos, but N didn’t accept the apology, accusing the bride of being "selfish and narcissistic."
Since their exchange, the two friends have stopped speaking.
"I’m honestly confused because she’s the one who offered to step out of the photos. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want my wedding pictures to look perfect. Even my husband agrees with me," the bride wrote, asking Reddit users if she was in the wrong.
Reddit commenters, however, were quick to criticize the bride for her actions.
"Wow, you’re really a terrible friend. You basically told her that her ‘build’ didn’t fit your aesthetic? That’s beyond shallow," one commenter wrote.
Another added, "She probably made that suggestion to step out as a way to ease the tension and make you feel better. A real friend would have reassured her and kept her in the photos, not gone ahead and excluded her."
A third user chimed in: "Your bridesmaids are supposed to be your closest friends, not props for your ‘perfect’ aesthetic. Excluding someone because they don’t ‘fit’ your vision is just cruel."
"So, making your photos ‘Instagram-perfect’ was more important to you than cherishing memories with a friend who supported you on your big day? Yeah, I wouldn’t speak to you again either," another commenter remarked.
One user expressed deep sympathy for N, calling her experience "heartbreaking."
"I’ve never wanted to give a stranger a hug more than I do right now. Imagine how N must have felt leaving your wedding, only to see your ‘favorites’ posted online with no trace of her. That must have been devastating."
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